merry christmas various people

I dedicate this day to donnie darko and IT crowd and the smashing pumpkins and consuming a dangerous amount of chocolate and painting things that is all ok I refuse to be sad today (◕‿◕✿)

I wonder how long it will be until I become overwhelmed by embarrassment at the thought of this blog's url and the background I just changed it to

throws self down flight of stairs because evan peters

Holidays are so nice so far I mean wait no idk a couple days were really bad but yknow it's nothing compared to school :-) oops I'm not going to think about that yeah ok
actually my sleep has been terrible but I'm not going to complain because I love holidays more than I appreciate my family ha
I've just been drawing and writing and music playing and playing too many video games and buying things aND WATCHING SO MUCH AMERICAN HORRROR STORY GOOD LORD IT'S PERFECT and then getting sad but then being happy again and yeah
I haven't really felt like doing a lot of things so I feel bad for turning down offers to go out and do things but I would rather just not do social things
except today I went to jordan's house and he got his nose piereced for like the 3rd time and he CRIED omg ok remember that and use it as blackmail
and then we watched release the bats which is like all this old footage pete wentz had from the fob days in like 2005 ahhhhhh it's so disgusting but it's nice because pete is a huge faggot and he's perfect idk but it's so gross oh my god pete drinks his own piss and I just kind of watched in horror
anyway I am buying art supplies tomorrow and then cleaning my room and yeah
also I've been listening to from under the cork tree all day aw

Ok you can hold me to my word on this ok if American Horror Story pulls a Twilight and it is suddenly really uncool to like it in any way whatsoever then I would just like to state now that it is really perfect and if I deny it in the future then I am lying. A lot.
Ahhhh it's like almost 3 and I'm really hungry and I'm watching all these interviews with Evan Peters and he's so perfect and idk I want to go get food but our house is dark and always sounds much more alive at this time of night/morning and yeah no I am not leaving my room now because paranoia ha HA oh well

I am oh so grateful this year is finally coming to an end
Right now I just feel

I don't know

I feel content and really relaxed and I've sort of forgotten what this feels like

It's pleasantly strange

I do not want Grace to leave no no no Camille will sad

Today was

really really really nice

like this afternoon

just made me really happy

I'm doing that thing again where I separate words

by

pressing

enter

ok

I'm

done

Some corrupt government should record someone with a really annoying voice reading out every single post on every blog I've ever made on blogger and play it to terrorists and other bad people as a form of torture

you know that feeling you get right before you throw up

where your mouth feels all weird and you're just like SHIT I'M GOING TO THROW UP AH BATHROOM OR SOMETHING AHHHH NO

that is the worst

especially when you're in class

or in a car

or anywhere that isn't a bathroom

This is probably an inappropriate post to make after watching Requiem For A Dream last night but really I wish Thursday would come already so they can get around to giving me those pills that are supposed to make things better already because it's been like 4 months I mean come on what are you doing and I'm starting to depend on the idea of them making me feel better

More importantly my psychiatrist is apparently so booked up it's taken months to get a hold of him and aside from Thursday he's booked up until mid January so um ok

I feel sad because there are so many people with things wrong with them

That is bad

I feel bad for people

I also feel bad for people who have to put up with me because yeah I am sorry a lot I know I am not very good at doing things right and being a nice person and things

I don't want to be at school and I don't want to be at home idk can I befriend scene kids and live on Flinders steps because that seems like a simple way of life y'know getting back to basics and living off McDonalds and goon and taking my parents money for hairspray and neon clothing

Yep

Sounds like a plan

What would you actually do if I suddenly became scene omg

Why do I read creepy fucking ghost stories right before I got to sleep omfg I'm going to die jesus christ I need Jack's Mannequin or Cobra or something loud and happy so I don't freak out oh my god

But they're such good stories sigh I want to read more omg I'd post them here but I'd probably make someone cry coughfranicough